Advice and resources to support adopted and kinship children through classroom transitions and new routines

The start of a new school year is exciting for many families  –  new shoes, new bags, and the buzz of seeing friends again. But for adopted children, those under a Special Guardianship Order (SGO), or children being raised in kinship care, September can be a much harder transition.

For these children, moving up a year is not just about stepping into a new classroom. It often means saying goodbye to a trusted teacher, adjusting to unfamiliar expectations, and dealing with anxieties stirred up by early experiences of loss or disruption. While most children need a few days to settle in, care-experienced children may need much longer – and more targeted support – to feel safe and ready to learn.

Why September can feel like starting over

The six-week summer break is a long time in a child’s life. For adopted and kinship children, the break can be unsettling because the predictable structure of school suddenly disappears. By the time September comes, it may not feel like “returning” to school but like starting in an entirely new place.

This sense of starting over is made stronger by:

  • New relationships: a new teacher, sometimes a new classroom assistant, and different classmates.
  • Goodbyes: losing daily contact with last year’s teacher, who may have become a trusted figure.
  • Fear of the unknown: worries about whether the new teacher will be kind or strict, whether friends will still be there, or whether they’ll be able to cope with the demands of the year.

For children whose early experiences have taught them that change can mean loss, even positive transitions can stir up deep anxiety.

How anxiety may show up:

Children rarely say “I’m worried about my new teacher.” Instead, you might see:

  • Clinginess or distress at the school gate.
  • Behaviour changes – either acting out or becoming unusually quiet.
  • Difficulty concentrating – forgetting routines or instructions they knew before the summer.
  • After-school meltdowns – managing all day, then releasing their emotions once they’re safely home.

These behaviours are not signs of defiance or laziness. They are stress responses, often rooted in fear and insecurity.

Preparing over the summer:

There are simple steps that can make September less overwhelming:

  • Talk about the new year gradually: Mention the name of the new teacher, show pictures if the school provides them, and focus on what will stay the same – the building, the playground, some friends.
  • Create a transition book: A little booklet with photos of last year’s classroom and teacher alongside the new one can help children bridge the gap.
  • Rebuild routines early: In the final weeks of summer, start bedtime and morning routines again so the first day isn’t such a shock.
  • Visit the school if possible: Even a quick walk past the gates helps reconnect the child with the familiar environment. Some schools allow brief visits before term starts, which can be very reassuring.

Supporting your child in September

The first few weeks back can be the hardest. Children are working hard to manage the changes, and they often come home exhausted. You can help by:

  • Keeping home life calm: Avoid filling evenings with too many activities. Give space for rest and quiet play.
  • Expecting big emotions: After-school tears or anger are normal. Try to see these as signs of stress being released, not bad behaviour.
  • Keeping communication with school open: A quick check-in with the teacher at pick-up, or a short weekly email, can prevent small issues from becoming big ones.
  • Celebrating small successes: A confident goodbye, joining in a new activity, or managing homework calmly are all wins worth noticing.

Working with the school

Schools want children to succeed, but teachers may not always have specialist training on adoption or trauma. Your role as a parent or carer is to share what helps your child feel safe and understood.

Practical things to discuss with the teacher include:

  • Any known triggers (e.g. family-tree projects, baby photos, or Mother’s/Father’s Day activities).
  • Calming strategies that work at home and might help at school.
  • Identifying a safe adult – often the Designated Teacher – who your child can turn to if they feel upset.

You don’t need to share all the details of your child’s history. A short explanation of how certain experiences affect your child’s behaviour is usually enough for staff to respond more effectively.

Entitlements and support

Children who are adopted from care, or under SGOs or CAOs, are entitled to additional support in school:

  • Pupil Premium Plus (PPP): Schools receive extra funding for each eligible child. This money must be used to support learning and wellbeing.
  • Designated Teacher: Every school has one. Their role is to promote the progress and wellbeing of children who were previously in care.
  • Virtual School Head (VSH): Each local authority has a VSH who can advise schools on supporting care-experienced children.

Ask the school how PPP funding is being used to support your child – whether through extra teaching support, mentoring, or resources.

Looking after yourself

Supporting a child through the September transition is demanding. Many parents and carers describe it as one of the most stressful times of the year, because the child’s anxieties are felt at home too. It is important to remember that your wellbeing matters as much as your child’s.

One valuable option is our eTR-UST course. eTR-UST is an eight-week therapeutic parenting programme designed specifically for adoptive parents, foster carers, and special guardians. It combines in-depth theory about trauma and attachment with practical strategies you can use at home. Parents who take part often say it helps them understand their child’s behaviour in new ways and gives them tools to respond calmly rather than reactively. Just as importantly, it provides a chance to connect with other carers who understand the challenges of parenting children with attachment difficulties.

Courses like eTR-UST can give you both knowledge and community – two things that make it easier to stay steady during tricky times like September.

Helping your child step forward

For adopted and kinship children, moving up a year in primary school is not just a small change. It’s a big shift that can stir up old anxieties. With preparation, patience, and close partnership with the school, you can help your child feel safer and more confident.

The key is not to expect perfection. Setbacks are normal, and progress may be gradual. But each September is another opportunity to show your child that change does not always mean loss  – sometimes it means growth and new beginnings.